Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
