i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
