he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
