so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
smell my finger.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I love you. Go after that dick
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
