I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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