I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I could fuck to npr.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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