Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
