I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
