We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
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Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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