oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This house was built for laser tag.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
