ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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