she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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