yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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