well I can't set my house on fire every night
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
