thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
