FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There r osticjed everywhere
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
