just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
