I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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