Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
