508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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