I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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