So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
