I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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