Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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