Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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