yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
