its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
