Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
