What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
