Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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