2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
