he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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