so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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