why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
