I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
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By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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