Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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