Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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