peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
