Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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