Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
