I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
