You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
