it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My ATM looks so different sober.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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