Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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