some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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