I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Boobs speak an international language.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
