the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
