I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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