I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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