Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
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beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize