i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
we're chasing vodka with high fives
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
