Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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