If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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