i think i have two assholes
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
