Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
