I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
