He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
