if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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