First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
