Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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