I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
