Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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