I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize