I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
