Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
