A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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