We're like a lot better than the average bears
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
