one two three fourrrrnication!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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