yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Can I color on your dick again?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
