the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
